You’ll never make it,” my
friend Steve said to me
one day over lunch.
“You’ll give up before the
weekend is over.”
He smiled in smug satisfaction,
having issued a challenge that he
was confident I couldn’t meet.
Throughout our lunch, I had
been routinely checking my
BlackBerry for new messages
and had even interrupted our
conversation to type a quick reply. Frustrated by my distraction, Steve accused me of being
addicted to the device and its demand for responsiveness. When
I disagreed, he challenged me to
go through an entire weekend
without using it.
The terms were simple, and
I was confident I could meet
them. From Friday night until
Monday morning, I would not
use the BlackBerry, either for
e-mail or as a cell phone,
except in an extreme emergency. If I succeeded, I
would win lunch at our
favorite restaurant as well
as the satisfaction of being
right. Both rewards made the
challenge worth pursuing.
It began simply enough. I responded to a final set of e-mails
before going to bed Friday night
and then turned the BlackBerry
off for the weekend. When I
woke the next morning, I fought
the impulse to check my e-mails
over my first cup of coffee.
Throughout the day of household activities and errands with
my family, I constantly reached
for my hip where the BlackBerry
would normally have been holstered and was surprised that I
had created such a strong habit.
The pressure to know what
messages had arrived began to
mount, and, ultimately, it was so
great that I really had to fight to
keep my commitment. Twice, I
literally felt the BlackBerry vibrate on my belt, even though
it wasn’t there. More important,
I began to have very real anxiety that somehow I was missing
things and falling behind. It was
a palpable fear that I wasn’t
connected.
And then it hit me. Maybe
Steve was right.
If the BlackBerry had become
this dominant in my life, what
was I really missing? What moments with my wife were ruined
by glancing at my e-mails while
she tried to tell me about her
day? What risk was I taking by
reading an incoming message
while driving in traffic? And
what opportunities to think, to
pray or to dream were being
lost as I filled every spare moment with my thumbs flying
across this little keyboard?
The fear of losing my connection that weekend was real. But
instead of my e-mail, I should
have feared losing my connection to my life and to the people
who matter most.
In the months that have followed, I’ve learned that my
BlackBerry, or any other device,
can be either a powerful servant
or a terrible master. The choice
is up to me — and to you.
Here are three disciplines that
enable me to make the right
choice.
Focus on people first. Whether at work or at home,
make connecting with the people in your life the first priority.
When you’re talking with someone, really listen and refuse to
even look at your device until
the conversation is finished.
You’ll have ample opportunity
for messages later, but you can’t
afford to miss these moments
of real connection.
Intentionally disconnect. There is an ancient archery
teaching that says, “You will
break the bow if it is always
bent.” This applies to life, as well.
While you may feel productive by being on call at every
moment, you really aren’t. Eventually, your energy and capacity
diminish and an unconscious
resentment of all you have to do
begins to undermine your best
efforts.
Turn the device off, and take
time to recharge and reflect.
When you return to your work,
you’ll feel the difference.
Be effective, not simply
responsive. I recently heard
another executive cite the
BlackBerry as one of the greatest leadership challenges that
he faces. After my own experience, I believe he was right.
If you are not careful, you will
become obsessively responsive,
spending your day reading and
replying to every incoming message, regardless of its importance. Use the device to help
you respond to important messages but have the discipline to
focus on the most effective use
of your time and energy.
I won the challenge with Steve
that weekend, but, through his
challenge, I also learned to focus
on the true connections to my
work — and to my life — that
make all the difference.
JIM HULING is CEO of MATRIX Resources Inc., an IT services company that has achieved industry-leading financial growth while receiving numerous national, regional and local awards for its values-based
culture and other work-life balance programs. The company was recently named one of the 25 Best Small
Companies to Work for in America for the third year in a row by the Great Place to Work Institute and the
Society for Human Resource Management. Huling is also the author of “Choose Your Life!” — a powerful,
proven method for creating the life you want. Reach him at Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com">href="mailto:Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com">Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com.
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