Too much information
Everything you didn’t want to know but were afraid you’d be told
By Michael Feuer
June 2007
Basic communications supposedly started with the cavemen about 130,000
years ago.
Those Neanderthal dudes really knew how to
cut to the chase and get their message across.
Using symbols and markings, they told what
needed to be known: “Where’s the food, fire
and danger?” When friend or foe came across
the message, it was immediately understood.
In 1876, Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of
the telephone, took a giant communications
leap when he spoke through this instrument to
a nearby companion device and said, “Mr.
Watson, come here. I need you.” It was artful in
its simplicity (the message, not the phone).
Since those times, there have been huge
changes in communications, but with innovation comes excess. Today, businesspeople
often provide TMI too much information.
Examining e-mails that have been returned to
me because the recipient was out of the office,
I have been struck by how much people will
tell you about where they are, what they’re
doing and why. Examples include this one
from an employee who obviously decided to stop working but continued to collect a paycheck: “I’m sorry I cannot read
your e-mail today because I am out of the
office. Actually, my boss thinks I’m taking
my sick grandmother to the doctor, but
instead, I’m on an interview that will hopefully lead to a better job so I can not only
take my grandmother to the doctor but make
enough to even pay the bill for her exam.”
The same goes for out-of-the-office voicemail
messages: “I’m not in today because I seem to
have the bug that’s going around. I spent all
night in the bathroom, but by tomorrow, I’ll
have this beat. Leave a message after the beep
and I’ll get around to you one of these days.”
We’ve all been frustrated listening to and
reading this drivel when we’re simply trying to
get a question answered. Just think about the
dollars that are wasted in corporate America,
including your organization, because people
have the misguided sense that others want to
know the details but were afraid to ask.
Telling people what he thought they wanted
to know worked for Dr. David Reuben, author
of “Everything You Always Wanted To Know
About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask.” No doubt
he made millions giving people information
they didn’t ask for, but he was a notable exception, and his subject matter was more compelling than most.
The newest TMI phenomenons are blogs,
which have evolved from the traditional intimate diary with a running account of the
author’s life. It used to be that a diary was for
teenagers dealing with everything from peer
pressure to raging hormones. The safety net
was knowing that what was inscribed would
never be read by another living soul.
Today, modern blogs, which are public on the
Internet and transcend age boundaries, often
include the scribe’s innermost secrets. Some
also have graphics that provide too much visual information, leaving little to the imagination.
Since this is a business column, I will stick to
offering suggestions as to how you can manage
your employees’ voicemail messages and outof-office e-mail replies for the greater good. I
am a proponent of establishing your own e-mail/voicemail police, whose job is to protect
and serve protect your organization’s image
and serve your customers’ needs.
Some might think this is a form of censorship; I prefer to think of it as an extension of
marketing to enhance a company’s perception.
Start with surveying your employees’ current
responses for their business e-mail/voicemail
messages and be prepared to be shocked by
both the content and length.
Next, have your HR or PR staff put together
brief scripts that get the desired message
across. Each message should be tailored to the
person’s job function and provide an alternative contact when there is an immediate need.
Establish standards of what is appropriate.
Explain to your employees why you are doing
this and that it is another technique to demonstrate how your organization is better than
your competition. Consider ending all voice
messages with the same tag line emphasizing
your best attribute, such as, “Prompt service is
our No. 1 priority,” or, “Getting to the point
makes us better.” This beats gratuitous endings
such as, “Have a stupendous day.”
Most employees will appreciate the scripted
assistance because it gives them one less thing
to do. For those who don’t, buy them a diary in
which they can continue to record their personalized messages, and make them promise
to keep those messages to themselves and
never share them with your customers.
MICHAEL FEUER is co-founder of OfficeMax, which he started in 1988
with one store and $20,000 of his own money, along with a then-partner and
group of private investors. During 16 years as CEO, he grew the company to
almost 1,000 stores with sales approximating $5 billion before selling it for
almost $1.5 billion in 2003 to Boise Cascade Corp. In 2004, Feuer launched
another start-up, Max-Ventures, a venture capital operating firm that focuses
on buying control and/or making substantial investments in retail-oriented
businesses and businesses that serve retail. Reach Feuer with comments at
mfeuer@max-ventures.com.
