Grow through crisis
Four steps to free yourself from despair
By Jim Huling
December 2007
Aheavy spring rain soaked the mountain for over a week before my
daughter Sarah and I began our backpacking trip through the wilderness.
The great Chattooga River that ran beside
the hiking trail was swollen to the top of
its banks, and we had to move carefully
across the rocks to a special campsite on
the other side.
As we approached the familiar spot
where we had made camp many times
before, Sarah called out from behind me.
“Something looks different here, Dad,”
she said. “Be careful.”
Full of parental wisdom and authority, I
said, “It looks fine to me. Let’s keep going.”
A few steps later my boots disappeared
into an unseen pool of mud. As I struggled
to free them, I quickly sank up to my waist
in a bog created by all the rain. It was one of
the most frightening experiences I’ve ever
endured. With my legs completely trapped
and a heavy pack on my back, I was
afraid that I would continue to sink
deeper and deeper, unable to escape.
Have you ever had a moment like
this? Even if you were not in the
wilderness, have you felt trapped by a
situation that threatened to overwhelm you? Your moment may have
come with a frightening diagnosis or a
late-night phone call telling you one of
your children was in danger. In business, markets can shift, jobs can be eliminated, and people you trust can betray
you. Any of these events can leave you
awake in the middle of the night, feeling
trapped, afraid and unsure of what to do.
When you’re mired in your own bog of
despair, there are four steps to freedom.
Anchor your faith. My first reaction as
I started to sink into the bog was to panic.
I twisted and turned, trying to free my legs
while my mind raced with every quicksand
scene I’d ever watched on film. In the end,
all I accomplished was to exhaust my energy and drive myself deeper into the mud.
This is what you’re doing as you rush
around taking every action you can think of
and asking advice of everyone you know.
Instead, stop your frantic search for
answers long enough to center yourself in
your faith and to hear your inner voice
answer the question, “What is the right
thing to do?”
Lighten your load. When I stopped my
own thrashing that day, I instantly knew
what to do. Slipping off my 40-pound
backpack and heaving it past the bog
stopped me from sinking any further and
enabled me to begin to loosen my legs
from the clinging mud. When a crisis hits,
it’s time to let go of the things that are
dragging you down. Whether it’s a job you
hate or a relationship that is draining your
spirit, now is the time to release it. Anger,
bitterness and regret are also heavy burdens. Casting this dead weight aside may
be the very act that sets you free.
Reach for help. As soon as she realized
what had happened, Sarah grabbed a long
limb that had fallen from a tree and
extended it across the mud so I could
reach it. As she anchored her end with all
her might, I pulled on the branch and
slowly began to feel my legs lifting free. It
was a miraculous feeling that I remember
vividly to this day.
No matter where you are, help is near. It
may be through your family, through
friends or even through the kindness of
strangers. Perhaps it is your faith and connection to a higher power that sustains
you. Whatever the source, the problem is
not the absence of help, the problem is
your willingness to reach out for it. Let go
of your pride or your embarrassment or
whatever is holding you back and take the
first step to your answer: Ask for help.
Absorb the lesson. Every crisis offers a
lesson. When you look back on your life, it
will be the times of great challenge that
you will value most. Learn to value them
because these are the moments that will
strengthen your faith, deepen your relationships and shape the person you will
become.
JIM HULING is CEO of MATRIX Resources Inc., an IT services
company that has achieved industry-leading financial growth while
receiving numerous national, regional and local awards for its values-based culture and other work-life balance programs. The company was recently named one of the 25 Best Small Companies to
Work for in America for the third year in a row by the Great Place to
Work Institute and the Society for Human Resource Management.
Huling is also the author of “Choose Your Life!” — a powerful,
proven method for creating the life you want. Reach him at
Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com.
