No regrets
Four resolutions that will transform your life
By Jim Huling
February 2008
"He’s crashing,” was the
last thing I heard the
emergency medical technician say before my
heart stopped. When I
regained consciousness, I
was lying in an ambulance.
With the sirens wailing and
the equipment around me
shifting from side to side, I
knew we were moving at full
speed. I looked through the
glass panels in the back door
of the ambulance and saw
my frightened wife and
daughter in the car following
closely behind.
“This is it,” I thought, as
the technician scrambled
around me, inserting needles
and connecting electrodes.
“This is my last moment.”
And then I had a revelation that changed me
forever.
Suddenly, 50 years of
living condensed into a
single realization: I had
no regrets.
Certainly, I wanted
more days to live, and
there were things I
would have done differently given the chance.
This is not what I mean.
What I mean is that, in that
moment, I realized I had
lived the life I wanted to
live.
I had loved the people in
my life with all my heart. I
had also pursued my life’s
work with passion and dedication, found activities that
I loved and made time for
them, and had given myself
to those causes that were
important to me. If this
moment were to be my last,
then I would pass from this
world to the next knowing
that I had done what I wanted to do. No regrets.
In a moment in which I believed I was dying, I
learned the greatest lesson
about living.
I learned that death is not a
tragedy. The tragedy is what
dies inside you still unborn —
the talent you never developed, the dreams you never
followed and the people
whom you never told how
much you loved them. Instead
of fearing death, fear the
moment when you will realize
all that you could have done
with your life but didn’t
because you were too busy,
too tired or too scared to
make it happen.
Recovering in my hospital
bed in the days that followed,
I made four resolutions that
transformed my life, and I
know they can do the same
for you.
I will truly love the people in my life. No one has
ever died asking to be surrounded by all the awards he
or she had won. In your final
moment, you will ask for the
people who love you, and all
you will want them to know is
how much you loved them.
Make a list today of the people
who matter most and resolve
to show them how much they
mean to you before this week
is over.
I will forgive those who
have hurt me. No matter
what has happened to you,
withholding your forgiveness
is like drinking poison and
hoping the other person will
get sick. You can decide to never be hurt by them again
without carrying anger, bitterness and resentment
inside you every day.
Close your eyes now, see the
face of each person who has
harmed you and extend him
or her your forgiveness. In
your final moments, most of
what has upset you in life will
seem unimportant anyway.
Adopt that perspective now,
and you will be able to forgive.
I will pursue my dreams,
despite my fears. If today
were your last day, how
many of your dreams would
die unfulfilled? As painful as
this realization may be, the
greater pain will be in realizing how insignificant the
fears were that held you
back. Fear of failing, embarrassment or criticism will be
poor excuses for not experiencing all that your heart
desired. Bring your forgotten
dreams to life by taking one
small step toward them this
week, despite your fears.
I will live each day as
though it were my last.
Three hours before my ambulance ride, I was having dinner
with my wife and daughter at
a favorite restaurant, and life
couldn’t have been better. But
if I had known it was our last
meal, imagine what I would
have said and how present I
would have been. Begin each
day with the perspective that
it could be your last, and it
will change your life.
JIM HULING is CEO of MATRIX Resources Inc., an IT services company that has achieved industry-leading financial growth while receiving numerous national, regional and local awards for its values-based culture and other work-life balance programs. The company was recently named one of the 25 Best Small
Companies to Work for in America for the third year in a row by the Great Place to Work Institute and the
Society for Human Resource Management. Huling is also the author of “Choose Your Life!” — a powerful,
proven method for creating the life you want. Reach him at Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com.
