Share your wisdom
Discover a new sense of joy and purpose
By Jim Huling
June 2008
It was a moment when I felt
deep satisfaction and the
pain of loss, mixed in equal measure. Bill, a young man I
had mentored for 10 years
and who had become one of
my closest friends, was now
leaving my company. Although
our friendship would endure,
we both knew that my time
as his mentor was coming to
an end.
On his final day, he gave me
a gift that would become one
of the most powerful symbols
in my life. It was a small
wooden box that held two
simple items: a candle and a
bar of soap.
According to ancient legend,
when a martial artist reached
the point of mastery and was
ready to begin the role of
teacher, he was given this
same gift. Its contents were
to remind him of his true
purpose on the journey
that lie ahead.
A candle because the
teacher’s purpose is to
bring light to those he
teaches the light of illumination, of wisdom and of
spirit. And a bar of soap to
remind the teacher that
knowledge and discipline are
to make things clean, to wash
away the grime of ignorance
and intolerance.
But for the teacher, the
deeper meaning of these two
gifts is the most important:
In being used for their destined purpose, both the candle and the soap disappear.
They are absorbed into the
bodies, minds and hearts of
the student, where they
remain forever.
Through this gift, Bill was
expressing his thanks for the
teaching I had offered over
the years. But he was also
expressing the more important message that those lessons
had been absorbed and were
now a part of him, ready to be
offered to those whom he
would help along the way.
I was humbled by this deeply
meaningful gift and all that it
represented. The joy I felt in
knowing I had been helpful to
this remarkable young man
was matched only by my gratitude for all those who had
also taken the time to help me
over the years.
You can have this same
combination of joy and gratitude, if you will do these
three things:
Never stop learning. Every
circumstance and every person you encounter has something to teach you. Learn to be
grateful for all that they can
offer. The harshest leader I
ever worked for taught me the
most about the value of kindness and respect the qualities that have helped me be
successful. If you consistently
adopt the mindset of a student, you will humbly avoid
thinking you know it all, and
you will enrich your own store
of wisdom and experience to
share with others.
Teach what you know. Like
the candle and soap, your
experience is most valuable
when it is actually put to use
in helping the people around
you. Look for opportunities to
share your talents and experience, whether through teaching a class, writing a blog or
becoming a mentor. One day,
all your accomplishments will be forgotten, but even the
smallest contribution you
made to another person’s
growth will be passed on
indefinitely.
Be willing to disappear. The ultimate goal of every
true teacher is to be surpassed by the student.
Whether this involves years
together or a single conversation, make this your constant objective. If you’re not
careful, the gratitude and
appreciation of the person
you mentor can be addictive
and can lead you to subtly
sustain the relationship,
even after its purpose has
been fulfilled. Instead, like
the candle and soap, be willing to share what you have
to offer and then gracefully
relinquish your role as
teacher, allowing the relationship to evolve into a
new one.
None of us stands alone. Moreover, there is no accomplishment for which we can
take sole credit, for behind
us is a long line of teachers
who have shaped us in some
way. Whether they taught us
formally or through the message of their ideas and their
example, their lessons are
deep inside us.
When you are willing to
take your place in this never-ending cycle, you make a
contribution that will last
long beyond your lifetime,
and you will discover a new
sense of joy and purpose in
all you have learned.
JIM HULING is CEO of The Jim Huling
Group, a strategic consulting company enabling leaders and their teams to
achieve extraordinary results. Jim's leadership experience spans over
three decades, including eleven years as CEO of a successful technology company
recognized multiple times as one of the "25 Best Small Companies to Work For in
America." Jim is also the author of Choose Your Life! a powerful
proven method for creating the life you want. He can be reached at
jim@jimhuling.com.
