Keep your promises
Set a standard that builds trust and integrity in all you do.
By Jim Huling
November 2008
“Are you coming?” The text message from my
friend Sam flashed on
my phone just as I was beginning an important meeting. In
an instant, I realized what I
had done.
One week earlier, I had seen
Sam in the airport, and after
catching up briefly, Sam had
suggested that we have lunch
sometime soon. When I enthusiastically agreed, he said
“How about next Tuesday?” I
knew that I was not traveling
that day, so I accepted and
made a mental note to check
my calendar later to be sure I
was really open.
By the time I left the airport,
my mental note was lost.
When Tuesday arrived, I was
starting a meeting in my
office while my friend Sam
was waiting at our favorite
restaurant. When I called to
explain, the disappointment in his voice was
clear, but what he said
struck me to the heart.
“I understand what happened, but I wouldn’t have
expected it to happen with
you,” he said.
I can still feel the sting of
those words, but I also know
that they taught me one of the
most valuable lessons in the
business of life: the importance
of keeping your promises.
Keep the promises
you make through
your words.
When I accepted Sam’s invitation without knowing
whether I was available, I
made a promise that I was not
fully committed to keep. But
when I failed to even write it
down, I reduced the level of
my commitment, and the
value of my word, to almost
nothing.
When you make a promise,
are you absolutely committed
to following through, or is the
phrase “if I can” the unspoken
caveat behind your words?
Sometimes, the pressure to
accept an invitation or agree
to a deadline is so strong
that you commit without
knowing whether you can
really deliver. Even if there
are consequences to saying
no, the risk of saying yes
when you’re not sure is
greater because you are
gambling on two fronts.
First, you are gambling
with your own integrity, and
if you fail, you’re risking
damage to trust that is hard
to rebuild. Second, you are
gambling with the integrity
of the person to whom
you’ve committed, because
he or she has likely made
other commitments based
on your promise to deliver.
I did not know that Sam had
invited his son to join us for
lunch that day, promising that
I would be able to offer guidance on a career decision he
was facing. By disappointing
my friend Sam, I also caused
him to disappoint his son.
Starting today, resolve that
every promise you make will
be one that you can, and
will, keep, barring only catastrophic circumstances.
Don’t say you will complete
the report by noon, assuming that delivery by 3 p.m.
will probably be acceptable.
Instead, set the higher
standard of saying what you
will do, and then doing what
you say.
If you do this consistently,
you will become known as a
person who can be trusted
and that trust will become the
foundation for success in your
career and your relationships.
Keep the promises
you make through
the life you lead.
The painful experience of
disappointing my friend was
made worse by my being the
author of a book on character
and authenticity in life — a
book that both Sam and his
son had read.
It’s important to remember
that in every belief you
express, in every role you
accept and in every aspect of
the image you project, you are
making promises — promises
for authenticity, integrity and
consistency — promises to
which your life makes you
accountable.
Before you talk about your
values or accept a leadership
role where certain attributes
are implied, understand that
from that moment you will be
expected to live up to them. No
one expects you to be perfect,
but these decisions set a standard — one which you will
have to strive for consistently.
Thankfully, my lunch with
Sam and his son was rescheduled and our friendship
remains strong and vibrant.
But I have not forgotten the
lessons I learned that day.
Be careful to make promises
you can keep, and be committed to keep the promises you
make, and you will build trust
and integrity in all you do.
JIM HULING is CEO of The Jim Huling Group, a strategic consulting company enabling leaders and
their teams to achieve extraordinary results. Jim’s leadership experience spans more than 30 years,
including a decade as CEO of a company recognized four times as one of the “25 Best Companies to
Work For in America.” Jim is also the author of “Choose Your Life! a powerful, proven method for
creating the life you want.” He can be reached at jim@jimhuling.com.
