Control your inner dialogue
Use the power of your thoughts to open a floodgate of energy.
By Jim Huling
August 2006
Do you remember the first thought you had today? Perhaps it was something like this: “I’m worried about that project. The meeting probably won’t go well. I’ll never solve that problem.”
With these first thoughts, you began an inner dialogue that will repeat continuously throughout the day.
Before long, you’ll expand this dialogue to include your concern for the tragedies you heard on the morning news, your anger at the inconsiderate drivers on the road and resentment of the boss who doesn’t appreciate you. By mid-day, this stream of unconscious negative messages will be in full force, shaping the way you see the people and circumstances of your life. And because it’s so familiar, you may be unaware that the dialogue even exists.
When you allow these thoughts to dominate your mind, it’s like someone standing behind you throughout the day, whispering into your ear, “This is not going well. You can’t trust anyone. You’ve failed before, and you’ll probably fail again.”
Your mind accepts this endless repetition of negative thoughts as reality, and this acceptance creates a negative perspective on your life, undermines your confidence and diminishes your hope. Most important, these thoughts can drain the energy you need to create the life you want.
What if, today, you decided to think differently?
My wonderful wife, Donna, once taught me that a miracle can be as simple as a change in perspective. And this is what happens when we begin to take control of our inner dialogue as one of the most important tools in the business of life — a change in our perspective that can open a floodgate of energy.
You can begin right now by filling your mind with gratitude. Think about each aspect of your life for which you are grateful and say them out loud with real passion: “I’m grateful for another day. I’m grateful for my family, for my health and the love that enriches my life. I’m grateful for my work and the income it provides.”
Could you feel the difference? Even if you were skeptical, did you sense your energy lift as you expressed your gratitude again and again?
Now think about a specific challenge you are concerned about at work, one where there are consequences if you fail and no easy answers in sight, and say the following phrases several times: “I can do this. I have the talent and the experience I need to be successful. This is going to turn out well.”
Did you feel a shift in your perspective?
When you approach a challenge by keeping your thoughts focused on a positive outcome, you generate the energy and confidence you need to be successful, instead of constantly undermining yourself. In the end, you will not only deliver a better result, your entire experience of working on the challenge will be transformed.
What about your relationships outside of work? Do you have a friend or family member who is causing you concern? Examine your inner dialogue about them and you may hear something like this: “He never takes responsibility for his actions. Everything he does turns out badly. I’m always afraid for him.”
Changing your inner dialogue about another person can also have a truly transformational effect. Replace your negative thoughts with a positive acknowledgement of some aspect of the person, such as: “Each of his choices is teaching him a valuable lesson. I know he’s capable of changing. I believe in him.”
You’ll be surprised at what happens to both of you. Your positive focus will not only shape your perspective, it will give the other person the empowering gift of your belief and confidence in them.
Finally, remember that whether it is positive or negative, your inner dialogue is unstoppable. It continuously shapes your perspective on every aspect of your life. Only you have the power to choose the content of that dialogue.
By choosing thoughts that empower you and the people around you, you will create a powerful shift in perspective, a shift that will generate newfound energy not only in yourself but in your team and your loved ones.
Why not begin today?
Jim Huling is CEO of MATRIX Resources Inc., an IT services company that has achieved industry-leading financial growth while receiving numerous national, regional and local awards for its values-based culture and other work-life balance programs. The company was recently named one of the 25 Best Small Companies to Work for in America for the second year in a row by the Great Place to Work Institute and the Society for Human Resource Management. In 2005, Huling was awarded the Turknett Leadership Character Award for outstanding demonstration of integrity, respect and accountability. Reach him at Jim_Huling@MatrixResources.com.
