Detractors, hecklers, and jerks love dreamers like you. Your work is a performance, these attackers sit in the audience, and they came to chuck tomatoes at your face. They get true pleasure out of hitting you in stride. They relish watching your ambition unravel. They remember when someone hit their dreams with a projectile vegetable, and they want to pay it forward.
These people exist in your workplace. I call them “destructive critics.” They don’t want you to improve; they want you to fail. They are different from “constructive critics,” allies who find weaknesses in your mission to strengthen it.
Telling the difference between destructive and constructive critics is not easy. They both chuck tomatoes of sorts, but for different reasons. To deflect negative scrutiny and embrace constructive critique, I offer a few suggestions:
- Distinguish between you and your work
Destructive critics attack things that seem dear to you. They think your soul is in your work and ideas. Perhaps that’s true when you’re in the creative process. But once you share your work with coworkers, take your soul out. Make critique, positive or negative, about the work, not you. Be a bystander to your own scrutiny.
- Balance “yes” and “no”
Business is a tension between two forces: “yes” and “no.” The “yes” crowd formulates new ideas, breathes optimism, and charges into anything. The “no” group analyzes ideas, breathes skepticism and moves cautiously on everything.
Both types can help you deal with scrutiny. The “yes” crowd bolsters your morale and courage against destructive critics. The “no” group anticipates problems and helps you prepare for them. The balance between “yes” and “no” makes you mentally and tactically ready for negative scrutiny.
- Own your failures
Excuses are like hipsters — they don’t like to acknowledge what they are. When you fail, you will feel tempted to “explain” it away. Don’t do that. Instead, use this template for taking responsibility:
- I screwed up [this important thing we’re all working on]
- My mistakes hurt our mission to [restate what your team aims to do]
- To get back on track, let’s [take this bold course of action]
- Burn some bridges
Great ideas polarize people. If your vision instigates strong opinions at work, you have struck gold. Someone is going to say, “Well, we can’t do that. Can you imagine how [insert fringe stakeholder] would respond?”
That thought is anticipated scrutiny. Someone can already imagine how your actions are going to disappoint the exceptions, so this pre-fear becomes an excuse for doing nothing. Angering a few people is better than doing nothing.
- Cultivate gratitude
Gratitude is the ultimate tonic for negative scrutiny. When destructive critics attack, they want you to attack back. However, when you counter their vitriol with appreciation, they don’t know what to do. “Thanks, I really appreciate your thoughts on this,” ruins the detractor’s game plan.
Remember, the most dangerous critic is the one that lives inside you. Give him or her a name – perhaps “Eeyore” from Winnie the Pooh. Learn to recognize that critic’s voice. “I’m out of my league” is Eeyore talking. “This was a stupid idea,” compliments of Eeyore. “I can’t do ___,” brought to you by Eeyore.
Listen for destructive critics, including the one in you. Hear them, accept them, and turn their tomatoes into tomato sauce.
Renae Scott is the chief marketing officier of Togo’s Eateries, LLC. She has extensive expertise in driving sales and profits for major consumer brands over a 20-year period of increased competition and economic downturns.
