How many of you remember your mother telling you, “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you”? I remember making this statement to my two daughters, for which I have since apologized. However well-intentioned this statement may have been, it is utterly false.
Words do matter, and they can hurt. Words can be hurled out in haste either in speaking or in writing that quick email, message or tweet. Our minds work extraordinarily fast, our defense mechanisms kick in, and we are in response mode.
In fact, if we think about all the muscles we have in our bodies and how we are to properly exercise them, there is none more powerful than the tongue, yet we do not often think about how to control that single muscle which can cause so much damage in such a short amount of time.
Setting the tone
As leaders of your organization, you have the responsibility of setting the tone within the organization. The words spoken and how they are spoken create an atmosphere that can be either helpful or toxic.
Who can forget the speech given by Gen. George Patton at the beginning of the film, “Patton” or how we reacted to hearing a coach’s pep talk right before the big game?
All of us can remember hearing words of encouragement and congratulations, and I would imagine, you can relate to the cringe I feel when I think back to the “sting” I have inflicted when my words were poorly chosen. Words do matter.
It’s all in how you THINK
I once heard a presentation about the power of words and what to consider before speaking. The message did not contain anything I had not heard before, but it did give me an acronym that I use every day: THINK. “T” stands for thoughtful, “H” for helpful, “I” is for inspirational, “N” for necessary and “K” for kind.
That has been a lifesaver for me on more than one occasion. While I am far from being perfect, taking a split second to THINK before speaking has made a significant difference in my relationships.
THINK reminds me that it is always best to use words I would want to hear in a tone that would elicit a positive response.
Inspire, rather than prod
There will come a day when we will no longer be around, yet our reputation and legacy will remain. We get to influence what that reputation may be by the words we speak and write.
Certainly, corrections are needed at times; however, a correction can be given in a manner that is inspiring rather than harsh. We can choose words and the tone of our voice, which demonstrate our desire to lead rather than prod. Because we are leaders, we must be consistent in demonstrating to others that we understand the power of words.
We can all remember times when unknowingly, someone has made a statement that impacted us in a significant way. Taking just that split second to THINK has the potential to make the difference between sending a message of encouragement or disaster.
Julie Nimmons
chair
Vistage International in the St. Louis area
Vistage provides professionally facilitated peer advisory experiences that help CEOs, business owners and key executives grow their business.
(314) 301-9823
