Handling helicopter founders in a family business

Helicopter-ParentsAt a recent meeting of the Women in Family Business Peer Group at the Conway Center for Family Business, we discussed helicopter founders.
Many of us are aware of the term “helicopter parents.” These HPs are defined by Wikipedia as parents who pay “extremely close attention to their children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions” and who hover over their children, whether the children need them to or not.
Just as parents have trouble letting go of their grown children, founders of a family business often have trouble relinquishing control and taking their hand off the steering wheel of the business. Helicopter parents turn into helicopter founders.
Mom and dad have agreed to step aside and let the next generation run the family business. Son or daughter is named president. Mom and dad let everyone know that they are no longer running the business; that son or daughter is in charge.
But after a few suggestions here or there, suddenly, helicopter founders can’t help hovering. They question decisions. Words come out of their mouths that start with “I didn’t do it that way,” “Don’t forget to…” or “If you do this, then it will be fixed.”
They second guess. They want to continue to help make all the decisions, even if they have given up the legal right to do so. They question expenditures. They question work and vacation schedules. They question salaries. They question expansion.
Unfortunately, the silent but present message is: “I don’t trust you.”
Easing the transition
To smooth this transition, family businesses often turn to outside help in the form of independent boards of advisers or directors. The advisers are able to reinforce that “everything is OK” and “everything will be OK.”
The new leaders may wish to prepare a strategic business plan with specific benchmarks of success and share it with the founders. Once founders can see the new leaders have a plan, and are executing it, they may be able to let go.
A strong, active family business council also can help ground those helicopter founders. Comments regarding the family and the business — and how the business is being run — can be discussed and issues resolved.
Unfortunately, sometimes the worst critics of new leadership will be non-family management, loyal to the memory of the founders, who feel it is disrespectful not to do things the way they were done in the past.
It’s important to energize such management to understand that moving forward (by definition) means learning from the past, while planning for what the company needs to do to be successful now and in the future.
A little breathing room
The motives of helicopter founders are usually good. They mean well and want to be helpful.
A 2013 study, however, found that helicoptering decreases an adult child’s feelings of autonomy, competence and connection, and increases feelings of depression and dissatisfaction. In the case of family business, this can mean children fleeing the businesses.

Successful family businesses thrive by new, strong self-sufficient leaders who have been taught by strong, successful parents. The new leaders will continue to grow and learn by making decisions based on such knowledge (right or wrong). Breathing room is always necessary for thriving.