For years, I worked too much. I enjoyed what I did and received recognition as a top performer, but long hours deprived me of a balanced personal life.
My overscheduled workdays exhausted me. I wanted more time with my daughter and my recently retired husband, as well as for traveling and indulging my creative side. Last year, I reduced my Vistage workload by 50 percent, but my old workaholic self said, “I’m not giving up that easily!” and I immediately accepted a large project.
Six months later, I sat beside an old friend during a cross-country flight. I had writing to do, but I spent three enjoyable hours instead just catching up. Once we finished our conversation, my internal critic was quick to complain.
“How dare you waste three hours talking with a friend?” said the critic. “Airplane time is for work, not pleasure!”
As the weight of my self-imposed deadline sat on my shoulder like a boulder, the internal conversation continued as I weighed the commitment I’ve always had for my work against the desire to make changes in my life:
“This is ridiculous. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. You served a purpose once. Now, you don’t. Stop nagging me, PLEASE!”
“You think it is that easy to make me go away?”
“No, but could you just give me a break on this flight?”
But…
No, not now.
But….
No! I’m not working now.
I looked out the window and marveled at the vastness and beauty of the desert below. Its patterns fascinated me. I saw channels where seasonal monsoons had pushed the river out of its bed and scarred the landscape in fanning feathery shapes. Then, I noticed a new sensation feeling — awe.
As Charles Duhigg explains in “The Power of Habit,” a habit loop comprises three parts:
1. The cue, or trigger, which is a prompt for the habit to engage.
2. The routine, or habit itself.
3. The reward or payoff, which reinforces the habit.
You change a habit when you replace an old routine with a new one while keeping the same cue and the same reward. I replaced my old routine of working on the flight with enjoying myself. The hardest habit to change was this first one.
After my aha revelation on the plane, changing other bad habits became easier. Back home, I redesigned my morning routine and took off Friday afternoons. I even allowed myself to take a 15-day cruise (with no internet connectivity) with my husband.
Fifteen months after my major work reduction, I feel much more relaxed and connected to my family and friends. My previous work addiction caused me to miss many things in my life, but I love my new one, and I’m committed to making the most of it.
What habit do you want to change that would make your life more enjoyable? ●
Cheryl B. McMillan is Chair, Northeast Ohio, for Vistage International
