I’m a firm believer that we can learn life lessons anywhere, as long as we’re paying attention. I was reminded of that recently, when I heard the following story.
Gary, a construction worker, was driving one morning with a heavy load of materials on his truck. He was climbing a steep and winding road when a red convertible swerved in front of him, nearly causing him to lose control of his vehicle.
He continued on, irritated, and thought about ways to get even with the rude driver. A few minutes later, he saw the red car on the side of the road with a flat tire. Almost instantly, he went from being angry to feeling compassion.
Gary stopped to help. As it turns out, the driver didn’t know the first thing about changing a tire. As Gary hoisted the spare out of the vehicle and began changing the tire, they made small talk. Gary learned that the driver needed to find construction work — which his company could provide. Had Gary stayed angry and kept driving, he would have missed the opportunity.
I was struck by the lesson it offers: There’s a reward in doing the right thing, even if it isn’t always obvious. We hold on to resentments, to grudges, to anger, to fear. We clutch on to negativity and we miss opportunities along the way, opportunities that might present themselves when we reach out to help others, in whatever way we can.
The ability to switch gears and resist the first action that comes to mind, especially in an emotionally charged terrain, is personally satisfying and opens possibilities. It’s an ability that’s essential for leaders in today’s environment of rapid change.
Here are behavioral experiments for switching gears when emotions threaten the ability to lead:
Slow down
First, identify, challenge and then shift the focus of your emotionally negative thoughts. This is accomplished through self-awareness: internally recognizing and then disputing emotionally charged ideas. It allows you to consistently challenge unproductive thoughts.
Strengthen your optimism habit
Then, through deliberate, thoughtful reflection, expand and build your reservoir of positive possibilities. This can be strengthened through a daily discipline of identifying and setting aside negative habits and voluntarily rewriting your thoughts, feelings, experiences and memories.
Gather evidence
As you become more practiced at resisting negativity, gather evidence by becoming an objective observer of the emotional energy that is being created. What is the evidence of positive emotional energy? Are positive solutions being generated through behaviors that are caring, that create connection and foster collaboration? Is there more fun?
Stay in gear
The ability to shift emotional gears is one that requires practice and hard work until it feels effortless. Today, begin practicing by identifying one opportunity or selecting one situation to make the shift to stay in positive gear. Like Gary, we choose the direction of the emotional terrain of our thoughts, emotions and, ultimately, the actions that we select and pursue. So be clear and envision your positive response.
Donna Rae Smith is the founder and CEO of The Bright Side Inc., a transformational change catalyst company that has partnered with more than 250 of the world’s most influential companies. Donna Rae is a guest blogger and columnist for Smart Business. www.bright-side.com http://bit.ly/SB_Smith_Blog
