Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it

What would your first reaction be to this statement: “Keep your blankety-blank off the grass!” 

Wait, don’t answer yet. What would you think about this one? “We want everyone to enjoy our beautiful lawn, so let’s work together to keep it that way.” Unless you are a bully or just itching for a fight, the latter is clearly more preferable.

As our grandmothers taught us, you can catch more bees with honey. If we agree with this premise, then why does management so often begin with the negatives and go downhill from there?

Think about the communications in your organization and how many assertions start with a negative followed by a litany of unpleasant consequences. Many leaders think it’s more forceful and expedient to say it like it is and simply cut to the chase. They fall into the bad habit of starting with, for example: “If we don’t increase sales in the next month, we might have to lay off many of you,” or, “We either save money on expenses, or we go down the tubes.” Sure, these get the point across, but they also set a pugnacious tone that (1) confirms that management is a bunch of knuckleheads who think they are above everyone else, (2) triggers an action-reaction almost taunting the recipient to do exactly the opposite, or (3) results in the entire message being tuned out.

The key to effective management is accomplishing objectives through others. To do so, however, managers must effectively communicate what must be accomplished. A good initial step is to treat people as participants/partners in the process as a part of the solution, not the cause of the problem.

If your people aren’t responding to your messages look in the mirror. Instead of blaming your employees, determine if your directives are providing clarity and the appropriate motivation.