How often have you observed yourself or perhaps another leader effectively respond when applying a leadership behavioral strength only to experience that strength underplayed or lost in the midst of a challenging situation when perhaps the trait was most needed?
What is the formula for applying leadership habits of strength in a broadened or fresh manner when these challenging and difficult situations or people are encountered?
An executive I will call Ted humbly asked me that question, keenly aware of being stuck in resentment-focused encounters with his boss. His resentment acutely interfered with his using behaviors that enable him to inspire and engage an entire workforce.
Four steps
This is the challenge I gave Ted, and I give to leaders at all levels when they are experiencing destructive behaviors and they know they need to change:
- Identify the belief, assumption or thinking that triggers your anger or resentment. For Ted, it was his personal need to always be right and never wrong.
- Identify the triggers for this reactionary behavior that are keeping you from more broadly employing the behavioral strength of inspirational leadership. Ted knew he acted disinterested with plenty of mannerisms that conveyed disdain for his boss’s opinions.
- Identify a thought and action when entering situations where anger or resentment could be triggered. Then, identify a new trigger that will immediately replace resentment and disinterest with an expanded attitude of listening and learning with the intent to inspire the other person.
Ted immediately told me he would imagine his boss as another workforce team member whom he could learn from, engage and inspire, no matter what.
- Identify the experiment. Ted identified these behaviors to experiment with when he was with his boss:
- Generosity of listening by taking notes.
- Asking open-ended questions.
- Silently counting to 10 before reacting.
- Reminding himself that he can inspire an entire workforce.
- That he can practice and improve the application of inspirational habits with his boss.
Application tips
Ted is experimenting with clasping his hands together as a trigger to remember these behaviors. He also prepares by reviewing and thinking about how he will apply these behaviors before every meeting with his boss.
His determination and perseverance in applying and honing these new practices through multiple iterations when interacting with his boss, will eventually result in a new habit that better serves the impact he desires and ultimately is more gratifying, and perhaps even more enjoyable.
Donna Rae Smith
Founder and CEO
The Bright Side Inc.® is a transformational change catalyst company that has partnered with more than 250 of the world’s most influential companies.
Donna Rae is a guest blogger and columnist for Smart Business.
www.bright-side.com
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