When it comes to failure we would be very surprised to realize how we set ourselves up for failure long before it happens. You say to yourself, “Who wants to fail, or why would I do this?” We don’t consciously do this: we have programming going on behind the scene in our mind. Some would say we have been “imprinted.”
These imprints dictate our behavior sometimes more than we can imagine. For example, I met one of my first clients in 1986. Mary had been trying for more than five years to lose 50 pounds. She had tried every diet imaginable, joined several gyms and had even hired a personal trainer prior to working with me. She always got the same results. She would lose approximately five to 12 pounds only to gain 15. This was around the time I started looking at mental agreements for personal growth. Mary had shared some of her history with me and talked about the importance of being safe.
She talked about being sexually assaulted a couple of times when she was in college. Mary indicated that she had been in great shape back then with a nice figure and suggested that may have been the reason she was assaulted. I soon realized that Mary had an agreement with herself. As she began losing the weight and saw a change in her body, she would hear a voice saying to her, “Mary, remember what happened before; we are not going to be safe; we are going to be vulnerable.” Mary and I worked on that agreement and successfully changed her mindset. She ultimately lost 65 pounds.
Thoughts that limit us
We are all very much like Mary. We have preconceived beliefs that are sometimes so deeply ingrained in our mind that they control our every movement. So how can we recognize them and change that reality? How do we recognize the limiting effect of those thoughts? What is the conversation we have with ourselves?
Here are some examples of limiting thoughts:
I am not good enough.
I will never be able to do it.
The market place isn’t as viable as it once was.
We are in a recession and no one is spending money.
I am not as good as I used to be.
It’s hard to find good employees.
This is too much pressure and too difficult.
The last time I tried this I failed miserably.
What makes me any better than Mike? His company tried and couldn’t do it.
I can’t seem to get ahead.
Every time I try to lose weight I give up.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I need sweets.
Thoughts that liberate us
Once we can identify these limiting statements that weaken and sabotage us, we can replace them with empowering and liberating statements that will allow us to operate at our highest and best. Below are some liberating statements. I suggest beginning them with “I Am.” The most powerful words we tell ourselves always follow “I Am.”
I am powerful beyond my current belief.
I am more than capable of accomplishing.
I can lose the weight and stick to a meal plan.
I am more mentally ready and the time is now.
I am capable of expanding the current marketplace with effort.
I am powerful enough to create a quality product the market place needs.
I am talented enough to place a product/service in front of those who need it and can afford it.
I am wiser and have more experience than before. I will let my experience guide me.
It may take some time but I am smart enough to find good help.
So I encourage you to listen to the words you use. Ask yourself are they liberating and empowering or negative and limiting.
Remember you were born powerful and ready to create your own destiny.
Get to liberating yourself and creating. It’s your life! Get to livin.’
Eric Sean is the owner of Eric Sean Enterprises and a motivational speaker, Empathic Empowerment Coach specializing in wellness of mind, body and spirit. He is the creator of Deliberate Self Dialogue (DSD).