DeLores Pressley

In order to succeed in business you need to have inner confidence - that state of feeling certain about and trusting in yourself. You can have confidence in your goals, your team, your system and your family, but if you lack self-confidence, you are missing the main ingredient for success.

Lack of confidence makes it harder to:

 

 

  • Make sound decisions

 

 

  • Lead others

 

 

  • Perform tasks and duties correctly

 

 

  • Get a raise or promotion

 

 

Today I will provide you with 5 confidence tools that you should use on a daily basis in your business and professional life.

Let's get started!

Confidence Tool #1 - Focus

As I mentioned last month in 5 Tips for Improving Your Focus as a Busy Professional - over the years in my coaching and speaking, I have found focus to be of the utmost importance for success in the workplace. Too many professionals try to "fly by the seat of their pants" and lack any ability to direct their attention.

To use the tool of focus effectively, you must first determine the things that need your concentration and focus. Take the time to assess and evaluate them. What should come first, second and so on.

Once you have things evaluated and set out, laser-target your focus and do not allow yourself to be swayed away from the task at hand.

Knowing what needs your attention and intently focusing on those needs helps free the mind of distractions that lead to second-guessing and lack of confidence. This builds motivation that in turn leads to building a positive energy that helps you remain calm and focused during times of stress.

Focus prepares the mind for action.

Confidence Tool #2 - Mentorship

Anthony Robbins and others have talked a lot in recent years about modeling the success of successful people. The idea is to find someone who is successful in your area of work or expertise and do what they do - modeling their successful behaviors.

While I agree that this is helpful, I have always felt that simple modeling comes up short. When I model, I am left to my own devices. I am forced to determine just what it is that has made the person successful. In essence, I have to guess.

Mentorship overcomes this shortfall. Mentoring involves working directly with someone who can help you find your strengths and weaknesses in business. Mentoring takes the guesswork out of the process.

Find someone in your area who is a leader - someone who has achieved a level of success and ask him or her to mentor you. Work with their schedule to find times where you can meet and discuss your needs and desires related to your business.

I have found that many leaders enjoy the ability to mentor others.

Can you see how this tool can help with your inner confidence? It is powerful!

Confidence Tool # 3 - Attitude

You can become the smartest, well-trained and mentored individual with the absolute worst attitude and that attitude will lead to your demise.

Zig Ziglar said it this way:

"Attitude, not aptitude, determines altitude."

How high you fly in the world of business is determined not by how much you know, but by the power of your positive attitude.

Ziglar was a trainer and teacher for dozens of years; he was not speaking against you learning new things and being mentored by the best. It's a matter of perspective.

Truly confident people - not those who think confidence is made up of simple arrogance, are those who have a great attitude toward business, work and life. These are the ones that co-workers want to follow.

Attitude moves your action forward.

Confidence Tool #4 - Exercise

In her article: Get Ahead at Work: 5 Ways to Increase Your Confidence In Business, Kelly Lynn Adams talks about the role exercise plays in developing confidence in business.

She states:

"Exercise has been shown to improve both mental health (by releasing mood-improving endorphins) and physical wellbeing (by reducing the likelihood of illnesses) while also improving the way you feel about yourself. So, whether you prefer to dance, go to the gym, run outside, bike, take a yoga class or box, get moving. It may just pay off, literally!"

I could not have said it better!

Exercise provides strength for action.

Confidence Tool # 5 - Action

I have been hinting all along in this article that there is one very important tool that must be used in order develop the confidence needed to achieve true success in business.

That tool is action.

We must get up, get moving and get out there on a daily basis. Actual hands-on doing is a powerful provider of self-confidence. Action defines the muscle of confidence. Consistent, daily action makes that muscle strong.

When focus, mentorship, attitude, and exercise bolster action, inner confidence no longer becomes a struggle we face.

Use these tools and develop the confidence you need to achieve your wildest dreams in business.

DeLores Pressley, motivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” Contact her via email at info@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

When you go to the dictionary to look for the definition of focus, you will see such lofty things as:

the point where the geometrical lines or their prolongations conforming to the rays diverging from or converging toward another point intersect and give rise to an image after reflection by a mirror or refraction by a lens or optical system.”

or:

a point at which rays (as of light, heat, or sound) converge or from which they diverge or appear to diverge.”

Luckily, for those of us that are not physicists, I did find one definition that makes sense when trying to understand the meaning of focus:

“a point of concentration or directed attention.”

What do you concentrate on the most with your business? Where do you direct your attention? These are the questions of focus. Over the years in my coaching and speaking, I have found them to be of utmost importance to the success of those in the workplace.

Let's look at 5 tips for improving your focus as a busy professional.

1. Stop doing what you are doing.

If you struggle with focus on a daily basis and you continue to think and act in the same manner – you need to stop and stop right now.

The quote that is often attributed to Albert Einstein speaks to us here: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Stop. Breathe. Assess. Evaluate.

This leads us to our second tip.

2. Determine what needs your concentration and attention.

In the workplace, too many people “fly by the seat of their pants” when it comes to what needs to get done. In most instances, it is pure laziness that sustains this way of doing things. It takes work to stay focused and be successful.

As I said above, you will need to assess and evaluate in order to determine what needs your directed attention. Hopefully you have goals in place for yourself and your team. Let those goals be the defining line for your focus.

This leads us to our third tip for improving your focus as a busy professional.

3. Clear all unnecessary distractions.

Once you have determined the areas and actions that need your concentration, it is time to laser target your focus. In order to do this, you must clear away anything that would disrupt, distract or lessen your laser focus.

Things like:

 

 

  • Cell phones

 

 

  • Television

 

 

  • Email

 

 

  • Social Media

 

 

  • Instant Messaging

 

 

  • Coworkers

 

 

  • Tasks that could be delegated

 

 

Make a list of all the things that you must stop doing in order to stay focused. This is the opposite of the normal to-do list.  It will make clear what needs to be cut out from your daily routine.

Some distractions are going to be hard to give up because they have imbedded themselves as habits – and habits take time to change. Development of laser-targeted focus does not happen overnight, but it must be practiced daily in order to achieve its mastery.

4. Work in 60- to 90-minute blocks of time and provide yourself a reward.

Do not expect too much from your focus. Saying that you are going “to work until it's done is an overload for most of us. It is also too vague and not goal-oriented.

Set aside a specific amount of time for a designated task. Studies have shown that we do well when we block off 60- or 90- minute time frames. This allows you to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that a break is coming.

As we work, our alertness drops off, increasing the lure of distractions. Set a timer and take a break at the end of each cycle.

How about a reward? We all like rewards in one form or another – even if we are the one giving the reward. Say to yourself, “After this 90 minute session of work I am going to take a 10 minute break and walk around the building.”

Other possible rewards are:

 

 

  • A snack (be careful not to overindulge and get sleepy)

 

 

  • Text messaging

 

 

  • Fresh air

 

 

  • iTunes

 

 

5. Learn to say no.

I mentioned delegated tasks earlier. Many busy professionals struggle with delegation. We tend to hold the old attitude of“if you want something done right, do it yourself.”This might be true in the here and now, but in the long run it will lead to lack of focus and, ultimately, exhaustion.

Learning to delegate is a form of learning to say no. “No, not me, not now.” When we learn to say no, we are truly saying yes to our focus.

There are many other tips that one can use to stay focused. These are the five that I have found to be the most useful. Take the time today to try one, two or all of them. Your goals deserve your focus.  Your team deserves your focus. You deserve it as well.

DeLores Pressley, motivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” Contact her via email at info@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

According to The Business Dictionary, attitude is:  “A predisposition or a tendency to respond positively or negatively towards a certain idea, object, person, or situation. Attitude influences an individual's choice of action, and responses to challenges, incentives, and rewards (together called stimuli).”

The words that jump out as important in this definition are:

 

 

  • Respond

 

 

  • Positively or negatively

 

 

  • Influences

 

 

  • Action

 

 

In light of this, we can say that when we respond to things with a positive attitude, that response influences positive action in us and others. We can also say that the opposite is true.

We could end this article right now by simply saying – As a leader, manager or executive in business; do the former and not the latter. But if you are like me, I bet that you could use some “how to” examples and tips.

Here they are, six tips for having a positive attitude in business:

1. Keep an open mind.  Always be open to the possibility that a life change you have refused to consider might be the key to transforming your life for the better.

This type of attitude impresses your colleagues. Why? Because most of them have been faced with the same challenge and chose to not change. Their attitude towards the change has been clouded with self-doubt and lack of courage.

When you are willing to keep an open mind, you are responding positively to the challenge of a life change that has the possibility of a great reward.

Be different than those around you. Be open.

2. Be proactive, not reactive.  A reactive individual is at the mercy of change. A proactive individual sees change as a part of the process and takes action to make the best of it.

Having a proactive attitude requires work. You must be able to think ahead and anticipate. It involves being involved.

In business (and life) you cannot simply sit back and let things just happen as they will.  In truth, you could, but that attitude is a negative response that influences negative action, namely, reaction.

Do a little mental work beforehand. Get in the game and be proactive.

3. Go with the flow.  Present an easy, casual and friendly attitude that shows your flexibility, yet at the same time portrays your persistence in the face of obstacles and adversity.

This is not the negative “sit back and let things happen” attitude described above. Persistence in the face of obstacles and adversity is what sets it apart.

Having an attitude that is easy and casual, without stepping outside the bounds of proper etiquette and being friendly, is some of the best advice I can give to leaders in business.

Be persistent while going with the flow.

4. Think big. If you think small, you will achieve something small. If you think big, then you are more likely to achieve a goal that is beyond your wildest dreams.

When we allow ourselves to have an attitude that pushes boundaries and explores possibilities, we draw in people who have the same attitude. In other words, by thinking big we find big thinkers.

Want to have a team full of big thinkers? Want to have meetings where ideas are shared and positive plans are made? Want to grow leaders out of your team and promote them to new heights in their career? It all starts with your big-thinking, boundary-pushing, dream-inspiring attitude.

Go ahead – think big.

5. Be persuasive, not manipulative. Use your persuasive talents to persuade others of your worth. Don’t use it to convince someone that others are worth less than you.

Have you ever had a manipulative boss?  Have you ever had a persuasive boss?

6. Enter action with boldness. When you do something, do it boldly and with confidence so that you make your mark. Wimping out is more likely to leave you stuck in the same old pattern and immune to positive change.

In the end it’s all about getting things done – with a positive attitude. As leaders, we need to be able to move and work with a certain sense of boldness. A boldness that inspires us and those around us to reach for new horizons in all we do.

It’s obvious, action is better than no action – but bold action that leaves a mark is what we should be doing in our life and business.

Do something and do it with a bold attitude.

Attitude really is everything in business. It is the force that empowers us to respond positively to the challenges we face on a daily basis. It allows us to enjoy what we do as we do it. It builds us and our teams.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012 11:29

4 necessary skills for managing people

According to Merriam-Webster, management is “the process of dealing with or controlling things or people.” While “controlling” is a bit harsh in my book, the definition is correct in it's focus on management of people. To be a good manager or team leader, you have to have an above average interest in people. Success in management is found in the relationship developed between leader and team.

The best managers see themselves as catalysts. They become that agent or force that provokes or speeds significant change or action. These managers get things done quickly by leading with solid people skills.

Here are 4 people skills that every good manager must possess:

1. Understanding the right way to give a critique.

The worst thing you can do if you want to get someone to listen to you is to criticize.

As human beings, we hate to be criticized. When we feel attacked, we usually attack back – even when we are in the wrong. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking “I know I am right and I am going to prove it to you.”

Over the years I have learned that this way of thinking simply does not work.

A good manager has the self-control and presence of mind to put aside the needs of his own ego and say “I've got a problem, will you help me?” Enlisting cooperation in this manner will always lead to better results.

2. Understanding the need to help.

If someone comes in to criticize you or to raise your game, under what circumstances would you be willing to accept the critique?

The answer for me is simple. If I think someone is really trying to help me, then I'll engage and listen.

On the other hand, if I feel that the person is just trying to get the job done or make himself look good, I may listen, but my heart will not be in it. My interest and creative energies will be lost.

The truth of the matter is: Managers will only have influence over their people to the extent that their people think they are sincerely trying to help them. It is simply the way human beings work. Good managers truly care about their team and work hard to help them.

3. Understanding no two people are the same.

As a manager, you do not influence everybody the same way. People do things for their own reasons – not for others and not for you.

Inspiring people to your company vision happens best when you help them to see what's in it for them. This varies from person to person. It is your job to discover what things motivate each member of your team.

Some people are motivated by a challenge, some by money and others by recognition.

It is about reading their needs, desires and wants and then leading in such a way that ensures their success at obtaining them.

4, Understanding the best way to get tasks completed.

An effective manager realizes that each time he has an interaction with someone about a task, there are two things going on:

a. A discussion about the task and how to get it done.

b. The way in which the interaction affects the managers relationship with the collegue.

The first is pretty straightforward, but it's success is determined by the tenor of the second.

It must be said that the task should not be sacrificed for the relationship at all costs. It must also be said that winning on the task is not good if the manager ruins the relationship. Both are important and the manager must do well in each area.

I refer again to the need for the manager to develop relationships with the team in order to understand the best way to get things done according to individual members needs, desires and strengths.

In the end, good managers know how to use their influence and power to help others achieve beyond their wildest dreams.

I like management guru Tom Peters' definition of power:

“My definition of power is understanding that all of managing — and this comes out of the old grade school book — is the notion of doing more than you and I can do by ourselves; that is, doing things through other people.”

He goes on to say:

“If you are interested in getting things done effectively and imaginatively through other people then what you're trying to do in the workplace is exactly what you're trying to do on the football field – which is to get people who work with you to achieve beyong their wildest dreams.”

Workplace managers understand that good people skills determine their success. They work hard to develop the skills needed to lead in ways that shows their interest in people.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Friday, 16 November 2012 16:09

The importance of empathy in the workplace

Empathy is the ability to experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions or experience of others. Empathy is more than simple sympathy, which is being able to understand and support others with compassion or sensitivity.

Simply put, empathy is the ability to step into someone else's shoes, be aware of their feelings and understand their needs.

In the workplace, empathy can show a deep respect for co-workers and show that you care, as opposed to just going by rules and regulations. An empathic leadership style can make everyone feel like a team and increase productivity, morale and loyalty. Empathy is a powerful tool in the leadership belt of a well-liked and respected executive.

We could all take a lesson from nurses about being empathetic. Time and again, nurses rate as the most trusted profession. Why? Because they use proper empathy to make patients feel cared for and safe.

Over the years I have discovered that most people who score high on assessments for empathy have no idea why. They do not completely understand what it is they actually do that makes others see them as empathetic. They can only express that they:

 

 

  • Like people.

 

 

  • Enjoy working with and helping others.

 

 

  • Value people as individuals.

 

 

In order to facilitate a deeper understanding of the importance of empathy in the workplace, I will pose four questions regarding the nature, role and benefits of empathy.

1.    Why does it matter for us to understand the needs of others?

By understanding others we develop closer relationships.

The radar of every good executive just went off when they read the word “relationships.” This is not a bad thing since most people understand the problems that happen when improper relationships are developed in the workplace.

This being said, the baby cannot be thrown out with the bath water. In order for a team of workers and their leaders to work powerfully together, proper relationships must be built and deepened.

When this happens through empathy, trust is built in the team. When trust is built, good things begin to happen.

2.    What traits/behaviors distinguish someone as empathetic?

Empathy requires three things: listening, openness and understanding.

Empathetic people listen attentively to what you’re telling them, putting their complete focus on the person in front of them and not getting easily distracted. They spend more time listening than talking because they want to understand the difficulties others face, all of which helps to give those around them the feeling of being heard and recognized.

Empathetic executives and managers realize that the bottom line of any business is only reached through and with people. Therefore, they have an attitude of openness towards and understanding of the feelings and emotions of their team members.

3.    What role does empathy play in the workplace? Why does it matter?

When we understand our team, we have a better idea of the challenges ahead of us.

To drive home the above point, further consider these:

 

 

  • Empathy allows us to feel safe with our failures because we won’t simply be blamed for them.

 

 

  • It encourages leaders to understand the root cause behind poor performance.

 

 

  • Being empathetic allows leaders to help struggling employees improve and excel.

 

 

Empathy plays a major role in the workplace for every organization that will deal with failures, poor performance and employees who truly want to succeed. As leaders, our role is simple—deal empathetically with our team and watch them build a strong and prosperous organization.

4.    So why aren’t we being more empathetic at work?

Empathy takes work.

 

 

  • Demonstrating empathy takes time and effort to show awareness and understanding.

 

 

  • It’s not always easy to understand why an employee thinks or feels the way they do about a situation.

 

 

  • It means putting others ahead of yourself, which can be a challenge in today’s competitive workplace.

 

 

  • Many organizations are focused on achieving goals no matter what the cost to employees.

 

 

Each of these reasons can be seen as true.

Let me ask a question though: What distinguishes average to mediocre leaders from those who excel?

In my opinion, the distinction comes through the ability of the leader who actively works against all the so-called “reasons” and incorporates an attitude of empathy throughout his or her organization. That type of leader will excel.

By spending more time learning about the needs of their employees, leaders can set the tone and approach taken by their employees to achieve their organization’s goals.

When writing about empathy I am reminded of the famous quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

“Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

This is a truth that has long stood the test of time. It is true for our relationships in and out of the workplace.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Monday, 01 October 2012 11:21

The fine art of commitment in business

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.“ W.H. Murray

Last month we discussed how to make the right choices in life and business. We talked of positioning ourselves as business leaders in such a way that we make good, solid choices.

This month, I would like to follow up that article with one concerning commitment and business. Will the two topics complement each other? I believe the answer is yes. In fact, I see the topics as dependent on one another.

Here is my premise: When we work through the process of making a choice and we lack commitment to that choice, ineffectiveness is sure to follow.

First, a few assumptions I hold related to commitment: 

  1. Commitment is more than a head game.
  2. Commitment is positive.
  3. Commitment itself is a choice.
  4. Commitment flows from powerful leaders.
  5. Commitment is the driving force needed to push our choices into reality.

Now let’s fledge out each of these assumptions.

Commitment is more than a head game.

While our commitments start as a thought process, they cannot stay in our head. One way to state this is:

Commitment is a verb – it’s an action word.

Deciding to commit to a choice is only the beginning – now comes the real work. We must act on our commitment to that choice or, as I said earlier, ineffectiveness is sure to follow.

Commitment without action is worthless. When we have done the due diligence and made a right choice, we must act for that choice to have:

  • Impact
  • Meaning
  • Power
  • Results

Commitment is so much more than a head game. It involves action.

Commitment is positive.

When business leaders decide to make a commitment to a goal, plan, strategy or new direction, they have made a positive decision.

Let me try to draw the timeline out a bit:

The leader has painstakingly worked through all the considerations needed in order to make a right choice.

The leader now makes a conscious commitment to that right choice and moves out in action related to the commitment.

The choice and the commitment are going to have a meaningful, powerful, results-oriented impact on the leader’s business.

That is positive. When we follow this series of actions, no matter what the outcome, the result is positive. This realization can help us as leaders to see our role and our work in a very different light. 

Commitment itself is a choice.

This might seem obvious, but it is important for this reason:

Not committing to a choice that has been deemed “right” is a sure and certain way to open the flood gates of ineffectiveness in our business. Not committing is a choice we make to not do the right thing, the best thing, and the needed thing to move our business forward.

Simply put: committing or not – we make a choice – the difference is very important when it comes to good business.

Commitment flows from powerful leaders.

Over the years, I have heard trainers or speakers say that the mark of a powerful leader is his or her ability to make choices.

This is true, but the statement does not go far enough. In my estimation, real, powerful leaders are the ones that can make a choice, commit to that choice and take direct, intense action related to the choice.

This ability flows naturally from powerful leaders. It is second nature to the way they conduct themselves, their teams and their business. It is fun to watch it unfold.

Commitment is the driving force needed to push our choices into reality.

Each time we make a choice we are setting a goal that wants to be achieved.

As Mack R. Douglas reminds us that the good news is:

“The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.”

Commitment is the vehicle—the force—that drives our choices from concept to reality. The power of a simple commitment has transformed many leaders and their respective businesses. Without that power, I have seen business after business and leader after leader flounder and fail.

I think commitment is lacking in so many areas in our society these days. In developed and free nations, people are blessed with the ability to make choices, but often we lack commitment.

In business we are confronted with the need to make right choices on a minute-by-minute basis. Each leader and team member is charged with making choices as a significant part of their daily activities. Those choices then require a commitment. This is the game we play in the workplace and in life.

The process is really simple if you think about it: Make a choice. Commit to the choice. Act.

Are you ready?

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Left or right? Up or down? Yes or no? The human life is full of choices. We make them on a minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day basis. It’s what we do, how we live and move and have our being in the world.

Consider some choices you may have made in the last few years:

  • What car should you buy?
  • Should you ask her to marry you?
  • Are you ready for another baby?
  • Is this house right for you, or should you keep looking before you make an offer?
  • Who should be let go in the next round of budget cuts?
  • Will your department reach its goals this year?
  • Should you ask for a raise?
  • Is it time for your mom to enter a nursing home?
  • What do I need to do to lose weight?
  • What will you eat for dinner tonight?

Decisions are usually easier when we are only faced with two choices. Blue or red car? Two-story or ranch-style home? Slim Fast or Weight Watchers diet plan? Our brains are somehow wired better to choose between two competing choices.

It’s when we have more options that we sometimes stall, flutter or downright choke.

  • Three people from a team of eight in the department must be let go.
  • Should we marry now, when we finish college or after we find secure jobs?
  • In order to best reach our yearly goals, should we focus our attention on X, Y or Z, and how much of our remaining budget should we allocate to the project we choose?

Life is full of hard choices, and the bigger they are and the more options we have, the harder they get.

Through my years in working with individuals, groups, companies and organization, I have narrowed the questions we need to ask in order to make the right choices both in our life and in business.

Here are 3 of my best tips for making the right choice:

1. Analyze outcomes, not pros and cons.

Many of us have been taught somewhere along the way to take out a sheet of paper and divide it down the middle with a line. On one side we list the “pros” of a certain choice, on the other, the “cons.”

This old school way of making choices is time worn and tested, but I think there is a better focus: outcomes. In the end, the outcome of a choice made is what truly matters.

Working through a big decision can give us a kind of tunnel vision, where we get so focused on the immediate consequences of the decision at hand that we don’t think about the eventual outcomes we expect or desire.

When making a choice, then, it pays to take some time to consider the outcome you expect. Consider each option and ask the following questions:

  • What is the probable outcome of this choice? (This is the list we should make.)
  • What outcomes are highly unlikely? (This allows them less weight in the choice.)
  • What are the likely outcomes of not choosing this one? (These are negative outcomes.)
  • What would be the outcome of doing the exact opposite? (Play “devil’s advocate.”)

Our thinking should be in terms of long-term outcomes and not short-term pros and cons. And we should broaden our thinking to include negative outcomes. In doing so, we will find clarity and direction in making the right choice.

2. Ask why – five times.

The Five Whys are a problem-solving technique invented by Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota. When something goes wrong, you ask “why?” five times. By asking why something failed, over and over, you eventually get to the root cause.

Although developed as a problem-solving technique, the Five Whys can also help you determine whether a choice you’re considering is in line with your core values as a person and a business.

For instance:

  • Why should I take this job? It pays well and offers me a chance to grow.
  • Why is that important? Because I want to build a career and not just have a string of meaningless jobs.
  • Why? Because, I want my life to have meaning.
  • Why? So I can be happy.
  • Why? Because that’s what’s important in life.

We now see how the first two tips are interrelated. By asking the Five Whys, we learn that having meaning and being happy are desired outcomes that influence the choice made in asking the first question: Why should I take this job?

The continued relationship can be seen in revealing the third tips for making the right choice.

3. Follow your instincts.

This tip affords you the ability to work through the first two tips with a sense of personal confidence.

Why?

Because research shows that:

The conscious mind can only hold between five and nine distinct thoughts at any given time. That means that any complex problem with more than (on average) seven factors is going to overflow the conscious mind’s ability to function effectively, leading to poor choices.

Our unconscious mind is much better at juggling and working through complex problems. People who follow their instincts actually trust the work their unconscious mind has already done.

In summary:

When we allow ourselves to focus on long-term outcomes rather than short-sighted pros and cons, take on the task of asking “Why?” five different times, and trust and follow our instincts, we put ourselves in a much better position to make the right choice in any given situation in life and business.

Like anything we go through as human beings, this process takes work. Get to work and let me know how it goes.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com

In business, confidence is key. I would say that it is foundational.  All other factors, such as motivation, training, drive and leadership, depend upon a core of inner confidence.

Whether you work for someone else or run your own business, tapping into your inner confidence is vital in order to succeed.  A few people do this with the greatest of ease, but for most of us it is a daily challenge that takes hard work and determination.

Here are four “tools” that will help you to find and tap into your inner confidence in order to propel your business forward:

First: Refuse to give consent.

I pull this idea from a saying of Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Refusing to give consent to feeling inferior is the jumping off point for the daily challenge of using confidence in business.  Here is what I mean:

Your first step into tapping your inner confidence is to refuse to see yourself as less, no matter what anyone else might say. This refusal forces you to take a stand and begin to think differently about yourself.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says reminds us here that: “Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking you are worthy.”

When you take this first step, it awakens your inner confidence. It stirs it up and gets the ball rolling. It becomes active in the process of your success.

Quite simply - it empowers you.

In business, being empowered leads to the desire to grow, the ability to step outside your comfort zone and the determination to act. I have discovered through coaching others that empowered, powerful people do powerful things.

Tapping into your inner confidence requires you to step up refuse to see yourself as inferior, less or wanting.

Second: Be willing to change.

Unwillingness towards change holds you and your business captive. It takes the wheels right out from under you and stifles vision and action. It halts growth.

I believe that fear of change is a problem of confidence. Most business people who struggle with change are, at the root, struggling with confidence. For some, it is easier to stay stuck and inactive.

They do not realize that being willing to change frees up your inner confidence. The willingness becomes the catalyst to move past the fear. It frees you up and drives you forward.

What kind of change must you be willing to consider? You must be willing to change your thinking.

Having the same thought patterns over and over again is not beneficial to your success. The problem is that the same old thoughts lead to the same old behaviors and, in the end, the same old results.

Albert Einstein said it this way: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

In order to propel your business forward, tap into your inner confidence by being willing to change your thinking.

Third: Envision the end result.

This tool is about making choices.

In his book, “Hostage at the Table: How Leaders Can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others,” George Kohlrieser talked about these choices when describing successful athletes:

“The power of imagination is incredible. Often we see athletes achieving unbelievable results and wonder how they did it. One of the tools they use is visualization or mental imagery….they made the choice to create their destinies and visualized their achievements before they ultimately succeeded.”

Story after story has been told about athletes, race car drivers and men and women in business who have taken the challenge of looking into their mind’s eye and envisioning the end result they desire. They “made a choice to create their destinies.”

In my opinion, visualization is the tool that sets your inner confidence in stone. Tapping into this well is a sign for all to see that you have the confidence needed to achieve your desired result, whatever it might be.

Fourth: Practice positive self –talk.

Over the years, I have encountered two very distinct groups of people when it comes to self-talk. The first is the over-the-top, fake, often arrogant folks who can’t stop talking about themselves – always with a positive “I’ve done that and better than you” attitude.

The second is the self-humiliating, always down on their luck, also fake folks who can’t find one good thing about themselves.

Both groups are uncomfortable to be around. Neither group will work well in business.

The ability to speak to yourself in kind and affirming ways builds up the well of inner confidence and keeps it alive and well. This ability is necessary to energize yourself as you encounter the ups and downs of life and business.

Positive self-talk is the maintenance tool. It keeps everything running smoothly.

There you have it – four distinct and powerful tools. Refusing to give consent, together with a willingness to change, the ability to envision the end result and positive self-talk, will allow you to tap into your inner self confidence and propel your business forward.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Friday, 01 June 2012 10:43

The happy and effective executive

As an executive, your overall well-being consists of your effectiveness combined with your happiness. Effectiveness means that you are able to produce desired results; happiness means that you are in a state of well-being and contentment.

Most executives spend a good amount of their time worrying about effectiveness. They set tough goals and push hard each day to achieve them in the most effective manner. They are results driven, and any thought of happiness comes only after the results are achieved.

This begs the question: Can a busy, hardworking executive be both effective and happy?

I believe the answer is yes. In fact, I am convinced that better results stem from increased happiness. With this in mind, here are some tips to consider that will increase your happiness as an executive:

Start with a happiness exercise

Take out a piece of paper right now and list all the things in life that make you happy. DO NOT censor them. List them as they come to mind. Let it free flow from your mind and heart. List as many people, places, situations, causes, activities, feelings and opportunities as you can possibly dream up.

Now, get in touch with your mind and heart and begin to narrow the list down. In the end, you want to have a list of no more than four things that make you happy.

You now have within your grasp the areas where you should focus your energy, time and resources. The items on the list are at the very core of your personal happiness.

Happiness in all areas of your life is the key that unlocks great measures of effectiveness. Once discovered, your personal happiness will have a direct effect on your business effectiveness.

Take this exercise seriously. Be open, honest and determined. You will be surprised at the results.

Stay happy through ongoing education

Never stop learning.

We must be surrounded with people who know more than we do. They must be a part of what we do with our life and business.

Successful, effective executives know that education does not have an expiration date.

When was the last time you put a teacher or coach into your business goals and plans?

What new thing have you learned lately? Are you willing to stretch your mind to consider more than you already know?

Happiness can be found in a good teacher, trainer or mentor. Look for someone who helps you develop new skill sets and fosters your growth. Allow them to push you to consider new ideas, thoughts and ways of working, acting and leading.

Eliminate stress

I know this is easier said than done, but consider the fact that stress is the #1 killer of a healthy body and mind. Stress eats away at the foundation of your happiness. It distracts you, wears on you and drags you down.

Meditation, yoga, hiking, exercise and deep breathing exercises help reduce and even eliminate stress. Each of these has been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease, diabetes and other ailments.

Do not overwhelm yourself with the thought of adding each of these to your life. Pick one that interests you and do it. Make a deliberate choice to incorporate a stress reducing activity into your daily life.

Consider this: The absence of stress brings on the presence of happiness.

Have an attitude of gratitude

Our attitude of gratitude serves to focus our minds on the things we have and the things we want, desire and need to live an even fuller, more meaningful and happier life.

In the end, gratitude is not just an attitude – it is a choice.

When we choose to be grateful and to express that gratefulness, we find our lives being shaped by its power. When that happens, we move our life to greater heights of happiness and effectiveness as an executive.

The basis of this article is that a hardworking, results-driven, empowered executive can find ways to be both effective in his or her work and experience happiness in their life. Although we see it far too often in the workplace, the two do not have to be mutually exclusive.

An executive that takes the time to think and dream about the things that truly make them happy, who is willing to stay fresh through ongoing education and who works hard to eliminate stress is an executive who has found the secret to being both happy and effective.

I wish you all the best.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Executives are some of the busiest people I know. They are often some of the unhealthiest, as well.

The trend in today’s workplace is towards doing more and more with less and less. This adds strain to the already overworked executive. That strain affects the health of the executive and hinders his or her ability to do their job effectively.

This trend cannot continue. It is destroying the lives of too many top-notch professionals.

Here are 27 tips for staying healthy as a busy executive:

1. Remember to smell the flowers. Take time out to enjoy the little things in life. Being just as impressed by small events as large ones helps to cultivate wisdom and clarity.

2. Stop living a “hit-and-miss life.” Living aimlessly is like shooting multiple arrows that miss their targets. This is a waste of time and not a trait of an effective leader.

3. Anxiety is anticipation run riot. Anticipating the worst keeps us from enjoying the present. Realize that anxiety does not facilitate self-control.

4. Remember to take breaks. Taking breaks during work helps you accomplish more during the time that you are working.

5. Avoid procrastination. Remove temptations around you such as an instant messenger program or magazines, which might tempt you from being efficient at work.

6. Keep things simple. Eliminate the things that cause clutter in your life, such as unnecessary magazine subscriptions, paper and too many unused gadgets.

7. Take care of yourself. Executives who look haggard or tired tend to have more responsibilities heaped on them, because your physical condition and dress sends the message that you permit that.

8. Commit yourself to exercise at least three times a week. Keeping yourself in shape will help you perform efficiently in all areas of your life.

9. Always eat breakfast. Low blood sugar as a result of not eating properly can cause unproductive afternoons.

10. Take your vitamins. If you eat constantly on the run to save time, take vitamins to avoid potential slumps in energy.

11. Bag your lunch. Not only is this cheaper, but it is more nutritious because you have control over what you eat. This can spare you from eating empty calories that exhaust you.

12. Sit down with your family for dinner. This is the one thing that you can do each day to bond with family members. It also saves money and allows you to control your diet.

13. Make dates with your mate. Planning romantic outings keeps your relationship erotic and alive.

14. Get professional help. If you can’t cope due to bad time management skills or emotional problems, get the help that you need.

15. Ask for help if you need it. Pride prevents most executives from asking for assistance from higher ups or colleagues. Being trained wastes less time than trying to figure out something yourself.

16. Make sure you have quiet time. Set personal time aside for yourself each week doing something that you enjoy doing alone. This gives you clarity and is a form of meditation.

17. Get enough sleep. People who are sleep deprived make more time consuming mistakes and are too irritable to lead a quality life style.

18. Never get too hungry. People who are hungry are irritable and make mistakes so that things need to be done over again.

19. Avoid people who suck your time. Needy or emotionally disturbed individuals can seriously throw your plans for the day astray. Avoid them the best you can.

20. Deal with your anger. Angry individuals are hasty, reckless and make careless errors that cause time consuming mistakes.

21. If you are tired, rest. It is better to rest and do a task twice as fast afterwards, rather than do it slowly because you are exhausted.

22. Take life one day at a time. Live in the present, not in the future, and you will accomplish more.

23. Give back to the community. Engage in one meaningful activity where money is “not the goal”. This empowers you spiritually and prevents you from getting too stuck in your own problems.

24. Make yourself inaccessible at certain times. Let others know when you are working and cannot be disturbed.

25. Reward yourself for a job well done. Whenever you complete a big task, make sure to keep motivated by giving yourself a reward.

26. Seek out the good in every situation. Disappointments and delays are a part of life. Learn how to make it up to your family if you are late and can’t be there for them.

27. Realize that you always have choices. Make choices about how you spend your time, and do not be at the mercy of obligations that you cannot fulfill.

As a busy executive, staying healthy has to be at the top of your priority list. It is essential to your job as a leader. Use these tips to guide you into the healthy lifestyle you deserve.

DeLores Pressleymotivational speaker and personal power expert, is one of the most respected and sought-after experts on success, motivation, confidence and personal power. She is an international keynote speaker, author, life coach and the founder of the Born Successful Institute and DeLores Pressley Worldwide. She helps individuals utilize personal power, increase confidence and live a life of significance. Her story has been touted in The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, First for Women, Essence, New York Daily News, Ebony and Marie Claire. She is a frequent media guest and has been interviewed on every major network – ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX – including America’s top rated shows OPRAH and Entertainment Tonight.

She is the author of “Oh Yes You Can,” “Clean Out the Closet of Your Life” and “Believe in the Power of You.” To book her as a speaker or coach, contact her office at 330.649.9809 or via email atinfo@delorespressley.com or visit her website at www.delorespressley.com.

Page 1 of 2